You are having a great day and everything is going right. You got up on time, your breakfast didn’t burn, you squeezed in those 30 minutes of exercise, and still got to the office with time to spare.
You are in the flow when — BAM! — someone criticizes something you’ve done or says a nasty comment that’s also known as “feedback.”
And like a punch in the gut, it stops you in your tracks; your day spirals downward and you feel defeated.
As women, we can often do 100 things well. Yet, one negative comment can deflate us, leaving us feeling worthless.
The truth is, we don’t need critics to bring us down because we do a great job all by ourselves, thank you very much.
Every time we let negativity in, we get that sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs and begin to question ourselves and our decisions.
The worst part? We let those feelings take over, and not only affect the rest of our day but the rest of our evening, too.
In fact, most of us will allow one negative comment to spill into the next several days, if not weeks.
So how do we pull ourselves back out of the pit of despair?
Here are a few suggestions that have worked for me:
1. Keep a Gratitude Journal. — Every night, write three things that you were grateful for that day. They can be big or small. Just make note of something that made you stop and feel appreciative.
For one week, commit to writing something different in your journal. At the end of the week, you will have 21 things that you were grateful for. Take a few minutes on Sunday evening to read through your week. It helps you realize that in the grand scheme of things, that negative comment really doesn’t hold the weight you gave it.
2. Set an intention for the day. — Begin each day by setting an intention for yourself. One idea might be to say: “Today, I intend to not let negativity affect me.” Your intention acts as a shield so that negativity can’t reach you.
Or, you might try an intention such as: “Today, I intend to see the positive in every situation.” Then, take time to notice the good and honor it.
3. Stay at Choice. — The beauty of being human is that we are always at choice. WE get to decide how we react to any situation – positively or negatively. We are in control of our own reactions. We also get to decide what we want to create from it. Is there something to learn in the situation? How can you use this information moving forward?
4. Choose a different perspective. — This is one of my favorites. In any given situation, there is always more than one perspective. There is, of course, the perspective you are in AND there are many perspectives that you never considered before.
You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame. In other words, take yourself out of the situation and switch your lens so you see things differently.
Regarding the rude comment, one perspective you might choose is that it’s not about you at all; it’s really about them and their need to feel bigger by making someone else feel smaller. From this perspective, you almost feel sorry for them.
5. List your fabulousness. — That’s right. Go ahead and brag. I want you to create a list of all of the wonderful qualities you possess. Don’t worry. No one has to see this list but you, unless you want to share, of course.
List at least 25 traits (yes, 25) that you possess that make you, YOU. Often, women have trouble recognizing and valuing how incredible we truly are.
Keep this list with you at all times. Take it out and read it anytime negativity creeps in.
So, the next time you get triggered by that negative comment or supposed “feedback.” try one of these suggestions.
Do you have other suggestions to guard against the Negative Nellies in your life? I would love to hear what works for you. Leave your comments below.